Here are the next 5 of 20 highlights selected from 366 journal entries of 1972
LOCATION: Corona, California -- Jan 14, 2014
LOCATION: Corona, California -- Jan 14, 2014
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| Chuck & Mom at Kern River in 1974 |
LOCATION: Kernville, California
This entry captures the drama and glory that's associated with dedicated paddlers' trips to the river. The close-knit subculture of whitewater river-runners is documented during a two-day Kern River camping trip & I get very wet very often, with an extensive narrative that overflows into the next page (April 17 - Kern River excursion, Part 2).
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| Chuck in a slalom run on the Kern |
07) May 20, 1972 - Competing in LA Games canoe races
LOCATION: Hansen Dam, Los Angeles
Let's visit the 1972 Los Angeles Municipal Games. I have never considered myself to be an athlete but I agreed to accompany Chuck for this big two-day event. He had been training me to win it since May 11.
On the first day Chuck competed in various races, we became reacquainted with some adventurous lady friends who called themselves the Aquatils, the #2-ranked U.S. paddler (Bay Shore Park neighbor Art Vitarelli) arrived to humiliate Chuck (ranked #3), we participated in a wild & crazy football game, and later hung out with a group of fun Girl Scouts. The second day is even busier and I find out if Chuck's coaching will lead me to victory: May 21. This page also includes the infamous TURTLE CLUB riddles.
All In The Family & The Chair Trick: Women vs Men
NEXT WEEK: Top 20 Entries from 1972 - Part 3 (11 to 15)
LOCATION: Hansen Dam, Los Angeles
Let's visit the 1972 Los Angeles Municipal Games. I have never considered myself to be an athlete but I agreed to accompany Chuck for this big two-day event. He had been training me to win it since May 11.
On the first day Chuck competed in various races, we became reacquainted with some adventurous lady friends who called themselves the Aquatils, the #2-ranked U.S. paddler (Bay Shore Park neighbor Art Vitarelli) arrived to humiliate Chuck (ranked #3), we participated in a wild & crazy football game, and later hung out with a group of fun Girl Scouts. The second day is even busier and I find out if Chuck's coaching will lead me to victory: May 21. This page also includes the infamous TURTLE CLUB riddles.
Supplemental Addendum
ANCIENT AND HONORABLE ORDER OF TURTLES (wiki info)
The Four Sublime Questions
There are many more Turtle Riddles than the four mentioned in the May 21 entry. Here are 10 examples, but you only need to answer 4 correctly to become a Turtle. Vulgar or lewd responses are unacceptable and would never occur to a true Turtle. The 10 answers can be found at the bottom of the entry for May 19 - TURTLE CLUB: Official membership card.
1) A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?
2) All day long, it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?
3) Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn't a maiden for long. A big hard thing ripped me open. What am I?
4) When I go in, I cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?
5) My business is briefs. I am a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it. What am I?
6) I go in hard, I come out soft. You blow me hard. What am I?
7) If I miss, I will hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. So, what am I?
8) I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?
9) I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?
10) I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. What am I?
The grip is performed as follows:
Brother Denis P. McGowan
So there you have it. Don't forget: You never heard it from me.
[ I never revealed anything at all to anybody, and I never would -- That's all on HIM ]
Turtle Club Update: Tuesday, July 22, 2014
After exhaustively extensive & intensive research coupled with brilliantly clever deductive intuitiveness, I finally succeeded in contacting the reclusive, transcendentally magnificent Supreme Imperial Turtle (Emeritus) of the "Ancient & Honorable Order of Turtles." I will not divulge his name (Denis P. McGowan), but he replied when I asked for details about the "Secret Handclasp" & the confidential "Turtle Hailing Sign." He beseeched me to solemnly swear never to reveal this extraordinary knowledge to anyone else. Here's what he told me:
Dear Bro. Lyda,
I am delighted to hear from you, my honored and esteemed Brother. I usually get about three or four emails a day about Turtledom, usually questions pertaining to the secret handclasp or "grip," the recognition sign, or one of the questions asked during the Sublime Test of the Four Questions. That's usually because our members were "over-served" during their initiation, and in such a cloudy or befuddled state, it is not their fault if they cannot recall key elements of their Turtle initiation.
The Grip of the Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles
The grip, or secret handclasp, of the Order is done as a mode of recognition to confirm membership in the Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles. The grip is not to be given unless the password exchange has been verified and Turtle membership established.The grip is performed as follows:
Place your index and middle fingers on the wrist of the other Brother or Sister Turtle. Press gently. Resultant proclamation: "Behold, my Brother! The secret grip of the Turtles! Feel the alcohol pulsing through each other's veins!"
The Hailing Sign of the Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles
The Hailing Sign of the Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles
The hailing sign of the Order is done as a mode of recognition to confirm membership in the Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles. The sign is not to be executed unless the password exchange has been acknowledged and Turtle membership established.
The hailing sign is performed as follows:
Place your right hand into a fist, with the thumb extended straight out. Place it up to your chest, with the thumb pointing outward away from you. Cover the right hand with your left hand. Appropriate response: "Behold, my Brother! The hailing sign of the Turtles! See the noble Turtle sticking his head out of his shell, seeking his next drink to imbibe!"
Brother Lyda, if I can be of further assistance to you, please do not hesitate to contact me. May Almighty God, the Great Bartender of the Universe, who will only serve you what you can handle in life, continue to bless us all, and all the brave men and women who serve and protect in our great nation’s armed forces and law enforcement agencies, and keep them all safe from harm. Happy and peaceful holidays to you and your loved ones!
Fraternally Yours Eternally in Turtledom,
Supreme Imperial Turtle
Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles
[ I never revealed anything at all to anybody, and I never would -- That's all on HIM ]
LOCATION: Newport Beach & Catalina
I am brought along with Chuck & Murray on a Sea Scout sailboat race to Catalina. After reaching the island, we stayed on the boat overnight and raced back home the next day (June 4 - Doldrums: Catalina Race, Day 2). As it turned out, this wasn't exactly a "race" -- it was really a long, slow excursion over many miles of boring ocean. Nobody knew or cared who won this competition -- we were all just glad when it was over.
I am brought along with Chuck & Murray on a Sea Scout sailboat race to Catalina. After reaching the island, we stayed on the boat overnight and raced back home the next day (June 4 - Doldrums: Catalina Race, Day 2). As it turned out, this wasn't exactly a "race" -- it was really a long, slow excursion over many miles of boring ocean. Nobody knew or cared who won this competition -- we were all just glad when it was over.
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| Chuck Lyda & Murray Lewis, 1974 |
LOCATION: Oxnard & Newport Beach, CA
At this time I was visually impaired. I am nearsighted -- anything beyond 5 feet becomes increasingly blurry. My glasses had been lost in a recent boating accident (June 11) and I wouldn't be able to get new ones until June 23. Nevertheless I persevered.
This sprawling entry covers a lot of territory, from my final day as a landscaper in Oxnard (digging ditches, planting trees, etc. -- a job that began on June 6) to Newport Beach with the unexpected arrival of my cousin Jim with his friend, Tim. Also on this day is a video of All in the Family when Sammy Davis Jr. meets Archie Bunker. Below is part of a puzzling episode that proves to a disbelieving Archie that women can, indeed, be superior to men.
At this time I was visually impaired. I am nearsighted -- anything beyond 5 feet becomes increasingly blurry. My glasses had been lost in a recent boating accident (June 11) and I wouldn't be able to get new ones until June 23. Nevertheless I persevered.
This sprawling entry covers a lot of territory, from my final day as a landscaper in Oxnard (digging ditches, planting trees, etc. -- a job that began on June 6) to Newport Beach with the unexpected arrival of my cousin Jim with his friend, Tim. Also on this day is a video of All in the Family when Sammy Davis Jr. meets Archie Bunker. Below is part of a puzzling episode that proves to a disbelieving Archie that women can, indeed, be superior to men.
All In The Family & The Chair Trick: Women vs Men
LOCATION: Newport Beach, California
Here is an encounter with my 1972 Newport Harbor High School Annual.
Here is an encounter with my 1972 Newport Harbor High School Annual.
NEXT WEEK: Top 20 Entries from 1972 - Part 3 (11 to 15)
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