May 19 - TURTLE CLUB: Official membership card*

Friday, May 19, 1972 - Page 140
LOCATION: Newport Beach, California

[continued from previous page] ful!)

(1:05:25 AM 5/20/1972)
It rained today. Chunk beat me in two games of chess. I helped mom wash the clothes. Jordan bought a model of the U.S.S. Enterprise. Mom and I went to pick up Chunk at his place of employment. We put the downriver boat and the Mucky Mongoose on the Imperial. We're being driven to Hansen Damn tomorrow by mom (yes, I know I misspelled it).

I've gotta get up at 7:00 A.M. It is raining now, and it will probably be raining 2morrow. The cat has still been fooling around. Mom and I went shopping to buy food for our trip tomorrow. --- None of that in that order. Tha's allllllllllllllllllllllllllllll  1:10:30 A.M.

[What follows here is text from my official TURTLE membership card (wiki info). Most of the original astronauts were TURTLES: daring people who are not afraid to stick their necks out. If a Turtle ever asks a fellow Turtle if they are a Turtle, they are compelled to clearly utter the phrase: "You bet your sweet ass I am." This is because every Turtle apparently owns a kindly good natured jackass for alternative transportation. Saying such a thing in polite society would, of course, be a scandalous faux pas, and if a Turtle was ever in a situation in which he was unable to provide the proper response, then he must buy the Turtle who asked the question -- and any other Turtles within earshot -- a round of drinks of his/her (their) own choosing. At a press conference a reporter asked President Kennedy if he was a Turtle, to which he replied, "I'll buy you a drink later."]

TURTLE CREED

Turtles are bright eyed, bushy tailed, fearless and unafraid folk with a fighter pilot attitude. They think clean, have fun a lot, and recognize the fact that you never get anyplace worthwhile in life unless you stick your neck out.

The "Turtles" are indeed an illustrious group and include in their membership ranks some of the country's foremost leaders in the fields of government, finance, entertainment, aerospace and all other areas where aggressiveness, a feeling of fair play, clean thoughts and a sense of humor are keys to success. Started by a group of test pilots during the 2nd War, the club has progressed to its present position as one whose membership is diligently sought after and highly esteemed by those lucky enough to be initiated. Adherence to the creed and always giving the password when asked are the only responsibilities placed on our membership. You will find that life is more fun and takes on new meaning when you are a "Turtle." Welcome to the group.

INTERSTELLAR ASSOCIATION OF TURTLES

(OUTERSHELL DIVISION)

Date: 10/6/71

This is to certify

Grady Luther Lyda III

is a member in good standing and will remain so as long as he continues to give the password when asked by a fellow Turtle.

Member

Thom Granger

High Potentate

Walter M. Schinok

Low Potentate

Gerry Morton

[FROM THE]

OFFICIAL MEMBERSHIP CARD

As a member in good standing you can subscribe new Turtles as follows:

I - We assume all prospective Turtles own a Jack Ass. This assumption is the reason for the password. This password must be given if you are ever asked by a fellow member, "Are you a Turtle?" You MUST then reply, "You bet your sweet ass I am." If you do not give the password in full because of embaressment or some other reason, you forfeit a beverage of his choice. So always remember the password.

II - To become an official Turtle you must first solve the following riddles (see page 142). [The four riddles can be found at the top of the entry for Sunday, May 21, 1972 - Page 142]

III - You are now a member of the Turtle Club. Govern yourself accordingly and procure new members.

Here are answers to the 10 Turtle Riddles seen on the entry for January 14, 2014.

1) A Wedding Ring

2) An Elevator

3) The Titanic

4) A Dentist

5) An Attorney

6) Bubble Gum

7) A Newspaper Boy

8) An Arrow

9) A Crane

10) A Nose

For an enlightening message emailed directly to ME from our current Supreme Imperial Turtle (as of July 22, 2014), you can go HERE [but only if you promise NEVER to reveal his exalted name to non-turtles]: The cosmically magnificent Imperial Turtle graciously responds to my humble question

May 01 - SoCal Socializing**

Monday, May 1, 1972 - Page 122
LOCATION: Newport Beach, California

MAY DAY!

11:25 PM
Took a bit of a (an?) hiatus. During which every darned day was sunny, so I, of course had to go out. I've been kayaking with Mike Sarason [brother-in-law] several times, and a kid adopted me (Jordan Sutton -- I was walking to mail a letter to Soozwol, and he noted the Star Trek Sciences emblem on my red Harbor High shorts. "Star Trek sign!" he shouted, and, as a fellow fan, I had to show him my souvenirs). He's sticking to me like fly paper, and that provides added incentive for me to be out and away in private Back Bay. Jord's mom, Tish, is a science fiction connoisseur too. She's a fairly nice person. GAD! My social life is growing.

The Wonder-Witch next door with the noisy parrots, wind chimes, and kids talked at me as I was re-patching Patch, so now I have to say "Hi" every time I see her. She's a fairly nice person too. Then there's the old robust gray haired good looking amiable character who I ran into on the Eye Sore raft a month ago or so, so we chat occasionally, mostly about Back Bay fish. Yesterday Mike and Me went spear fishing. We didn't spear one lousy fish, but as I was leaving after seven fruitless hours, one little grunion jumped into my boat. An obvious suicide. I'm using Chunk's Musky Mongoose now, Mike uses Glenn's.

Friday (or was it Saturday?) NO, it was Friday [April 28, 1972] -- Mom & I went to see "Puppet on a Chain" and "Straw Dogs," during which trip the transmission killed itself. Returning noisily to Eye Sore Park, it was learned the Reverse din't work, and eventually the car became wedged in the road, and we got Chunk to come over and at length managed to get it repositioned parallel to our trailer.

Earlier that day I had had the car to go to school in (no connection with the busted transmission). I went to school because of a call I got Wednesday from Timothy Hourigan who said Mary (Lyons) wanted to contact me. So I had to write a story to go to school with, so I wrote "The Typewriter" in a couple of hours. It is the best story I have yet written, and it has no plot. I typed it Thursday [April 27, 1972] whilst watching the Apollo 16 landing (on Sunday [April 23, 1972] Mike & I returned from kayaking in time to see the LEM [Lunar Excursion Module] lift off from Luna -- "Live from the Moon").

Apollo 16 LM Orion on the lunar surface

Sunday, April 23, 1972: LM launches "Live from the Moon." To see a NASA documentary about this mission, go to April 20 - Apollo 16 moon landing.

Went to school Friday [April 28, 1972] to see Mary, and gave her the 1949 Fantastic Mag I had -- the one with the quaint little article about "Raymond Douglas Bradbury, the Fair Haired Boy of S.F." On her wall, among other stuff, are my Martian Chronicles and 2001 drawings. I also let her read "The Typewriter," and she said it was imitative of Bradbury, which is what I was attempting (dumb premise carried to pointless conclusion). He gets paid for writing that stuff. Why shouldn't I? Mary told me about the LA Con for the World Science Fiction Convention in September. I saw the gang, but mostly ignored the females.

My room is a mess. So is this page. I finished Bradbury's "I Sing the Body Electric!" (YUCK), and Zelazney's "Dream Master" (Intelligentsia master Hugo grabber. Fair.) Am now on page 133 of "Slaughterhouse-Five" (hmm). I'll havta see the movie.

A YEAR AGO: Trip to Europe ended.

My tan is progressing. After I get my room reorganized I must begin the "Morrison Epic." I'll get "The Typewriter" sent tomorrow. There is publicity about some guy having discovered the tenth planet in our Solar System. Maybe so. Remember folks, you heard it first here! Tis now 120205 AM.

Apr 02 - Tinkering with Time***

Sunday, April 2, 1972 - Page 93
LOCATION: Newport Beach, California

(7:07 PM 3/6/72)
To celebrate April Foolishness, I've left Apr. 1 blank. And this brilliant little statement was written about a month ago, at 7:07 P.M., March 6. April is an anniversary -- exactly a year ago, Mom, Me, and Dot started our Eastward trip to Kennedy Airport for the plane trip to Europe. Now, what else will I fill this page with -- What unimagined events will have transpired between now ( Apr. 2 ), and when I wrote this ( March 6 )? We shall see.

1:01 AM - Apr 1
Last night I finished writing the letter to Soozwol. Larry & Dad came over so Larry could get some blankets cause he's staying at Dad's. He left Barbara, naturally. They stayed from ten to 12:30, and we talked alot. I did the dishes in the mean time. Taco came through the window with a gopher in her mouth, and the gopher got free and attacked viciously, snapping its huge teeth, and squeeking alot. We eventually got the thing outside again -- Taco couldn't get a grip on the energetic little monster. It must have bit her when it was outside cause Taco screeched once. The gopher made it into the cabaña from outside and the cat lost it in there.

What has transpired between March 6 & now follows: I filled the book "Dinosaurs" with beautiful illustrations from other lesser books, so now it is fun to look at as well as to read. Obtained the Fenton Fossil Book I'd been wanting from the school library -- it's the most complete book on prehistoric life I've ever seen. Got the big valuable book: Astronomy, and Dad borrowed it to work out his theories -- so I gave him the bill. Finished writing a new story ("Demigod's Demise") and sent it to Analog, from whom I received a nice rejection slip. Then I mailed it back out to F&SF along with seven other letters that may bring satisfactory results. Bought "Writer's Market '72" and became optimistic again. Created a file of my writing markets. Dad got an apartment and moved out. Mom stopped smoking for health reasons. She started playing Bridge on Monday nights.

Tim Hourigan went to Europe, so Grandlydia had to watch over Tarmlund. Matt & Grieg came by & I drove Gold to his home in Tustin so I know where he lives now. Was stopped by the Highway patrol on my way home -- Got off free however. I saw Jesus Christ Superstar; Dandelion Wine; Ray Bradbury; and Silent Running. Added a new feature to this book -- The Grady Lyda Album at the end. I finally organized my collection of photos into their respective categories. Spring sprang with a twang. Easter hopped into view. Another fool moon came and went. Star Trek answered my 24 dollars. Got a promising letter from Sooz, and replied to it accordingly. Explored Back Bay and got hit by three mullets. Liz continued to decompose. Taco caught several more lizards, insects, and last night she got a protestant gopher who defeated her. A flood washed away the trailer, and I'm writing this while drifting on a log amongst a dozen snapping alligators.

 

5:30 PM 4/2/72
April 2, Easter Sunday. Got up at 10:45 and Mom & I drove to Grandma Dot's and the three of us drove to a smorgasbord to eat, and we did. Drove back to Dot's (she got her trailer painted), and I got a bunch of magazines I can cut up. Mom & I drove to Penny's to see if it was open so we could buy a color Polaroid on sale -- It was closed. Then, at 3:00, we went to see "What's Up, Doc?", the O'Neal/Streisand comedy. The ad I have here was given to us when we went to see "Silent Running" [March 25].

The movie ended at 5:00, and now it is 5:07:43, the end --

Almost. Last night I sewed one of the Star Trek patches on my red Harbor High shorts, and yesterday was Apr. Fool's Day. Exactly a year ago we started on the cross country trip: 'Twas a mild sunny day about 80°. It was a Thursday, and Grandma Brazzel, Dot, Mom and I left from Mom's apartment, and Chunk saw us off. We left at 12:15 P.M., drove 335 miles and stopped at 6:30 in Kingman, Arizona. Got in the "Brandin' Iron" motel for the night. On Apr. 2, 1971, we left the motel at 7:30 AM, and drove 635 miles to Tucumcari, New Mexico, stopping at 7:00 P.M. at "Redwood Motel."