Top 20 Entries from 1972 - Part 2****

Here are the next 5 of 20 highlights selected from 366 journal entries of 1972
LOCATION: Corona, California -- Jan 14, 2014

Chuck & Mom at Kern River in 1974

06) Apr 16, 1972 - Kern River excursion, Part 1

LOCATION: Kernville, California

This entry captures the drama and glory that's associated with dedicated paddlers' trips to the river. The close-knit subculture of whitewater river-runners is documented during a two-day Kern River camping trip & I get very wet very often, with an extensive narrative that overflows into the next page (April 17 - Kern River excursion, Part 2).

Chuck in a slalom run on the Kern

07) May 20, 1972 - Competing in LA Games canoe races
LOCATION: Hansen Dam, Los Angeles
Let's visit the 1972 Los Angeles Municipal Games. I have never considered myself to be an athlete but I agreed to accompany Chuck for this big two-day event. He had been training me to win it since May 11.

On the first day Chuck competed in various races, we became reacquainted with some adventurous lady friends who called themselves the Aquatils, the #2-ranked U.S. paddler (Bay Shore Park neighbor Art Vitarelli) arrived to humiliate Chuck (ranked #3), we participated in a wild & crazy football game, and later hung out with a group of fun Girl Scouts. The second day is even busier and I find out if Chuck's coaching will lead me to victory: May 21. This page also includes the infamous TURTLE CLUB riddles.

 Supplemental Addendum

ANCIENT AND HONORABLE ORDER OF TURTLES (wiki info)

The Four Sublime Questions

There are many more Turtle Riddles than the four mentioned in the May 21 entry. Here are 10 examples, but you only need to answer 4 correctly to become a Turtle. Vulgar or lewd responses are unacceptable and would never occur to a true Turtle. The 10 answers can be found at the bottom of the entry for May 19 - TURTLE CLUB: Official membership card. 

1) A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?

2) All day long, it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?

3) Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn't a maiden for long. A big hard thing ripped me open. What am I?

4) When I go in, I cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?

5) My business is briefs. I am a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it. What am I?

6) I go in hard, I come out soft. You blow me hard. What am I?

7) If I miss, I will hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. So, what am I?

8) I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?

9) I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?

10) I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. What am I?

Turtle Club Update: Tuesday, July 22, 2014

After exhaustively extensive & intensive research coupled with brilliantly clever deductive intuitiveness, I finally succeeded in contacting the reclusive, transcendentally magnificent Supreme Imperial Turtle (Emeritus) of the "Ancient & Honorable Order of Turtles." I will not divulge his name (Denis P. McGowan), but he replied when I asked for details about the "Secret Handclasp" & the confidential "Turtle Hailing Sign." He beseeched me to solemnly swear never to reveal this extraordinary knowledge to anyone else. Here's what he told me:

Dear Bro. Lyda,

I am delighted to hear from you, my honored and esteemed Brother. I usually get about three or four emails a day about Turtledom, usually questions pertaining to the secret handclasp or "grip," the recognition sign, or one of the questions asked during the Sublime Test of the Four Questions. That's usually because our members were "over-served" during their initiation, and in such a cloudy or befuddled state, it is not their fault if they cannot recall key elements of their Turtle initiation.

The Grip of the Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles

The grip, or secret handclasp, of the Order is done as a mode of recognition to confirm membership in the Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles. The grip is not to be given unless the password exchange has been verified and Turtle membership established.
The grip is performed as follows:

Place your index and middle fingers on the wrist of the other Brother or Sister Turtle. Press gently. Resultant proclamation: "Behold, my Brother! The secret grip of the Turtles! Feel the alcohol pulsing through each other's veins!"

The Hailing Sign of the Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles

The hailing sign of the Order is done as a mode of recognition to confirm membership in the Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles. The sign is not to be executed unless the password exchange has been acknowledged and Turtle membership established.

The hailing sign is performed as follows:

Place your right hand into a fist, with the thumb extended straight out. Place it up to your chest, with the thumb pointing outward away from you. Cover the right hand with your left hand. Appropriate response: "Behold, my Brother! The hailing sign of the Turtles! See the noble Turtle sticking his head out of his shell, seeking his next drink to imbibe!"

Brother Lyda, if I can be of further assistance to you, please do not hesitate to contact me. May Almighty God, the Great Bartender of the Universe, who will only serve you what you can handle in life, continue to bless us all, and all the brave men and women who serve and protect in our great nation’s armed forces and law enforcement agencies, and keep them all safe from harm. Happy and peaceful holidays to you and your loved ones!

Fraternally Yours Eternally in Turtledom,

Brother Denis P. McGowan

Supreme Imperial Turtle

Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles

So there you have it. Don't forget: You never heard it from me.
[ I never revealed anything at all to anybody, and I never would -- That's all on HIM ]

08) Jun 03, 1972 - Racing to Catalina with Chuck & Murray

LOCATION: Newport Beach & Catalina
I am brought along with Chuck & Murray on a Sea Scout sailboat race to Catalina. After reaching the island, we stayed on the boat overnight and raced back home the next day (June 4 - Doldrums: Catalina Race, Day 2). As it turned out, this wasn't exactly a "race" -- it was really a long, slow excursion over many miles of boring ocean. Nobody knew or cared who won this competition -- we were all just glad when it was over.

Chuck Lyda & Murray Lewis, 1974

09) Jun 17, 1972 - Job Ends - A long, surprising day

LOCATION: Oxnard & Newport Beach, CA
At this time I was visually impaired. I am nearsighted -- anything beyond 5 feet becomes increasingly blurry. My glasses had been lost in a recent boating accident (June 11) and I wouldn't be able to get new ones until June 23. Nevertheless I persevered.

This sprawling entry covers a lot of territory, from my final day as a landscaper in Oxnard (digging ditches, planting trees, etc. -- a job that began on June 6) to Newport Beach with the unexpected arrival of my cousin Jim with his friend, Tim. Also on this day is a video of All in the Family when Sammy Davis Jr. meets Archie Bunker. Below is part of a puzzling episode that proves to a disbelieving Archie that women can, indeed, be superior to men. 

All In The Family & The Chair Trick: Women vs Men

10) Jun 22, 1972 - PHOTOS: The Galleon Yearbook

LOCATION: Newport Beach, California
Here is an encounter with my 1972 Newport Harbor High School Annual.

NEXT WEEK: Top 20 Entries from 1972 - Part 3 (11 to 15)

Apr 16 - Kern River excursion, Part 1**

Sunday, April 16, 1972 - Page 107
LOCATION: Newport Beach & Kernville, California

This 1969 image of Chuck racing in whitewater was drawn by our father, Lu Lyda

[TIME-HOP to previous day]
Saturday, April 15, 1972
(Written Monday, April 17, 1972, 11:30:45 A.M.)
I woke up at 6:00 A.M. and got ready for the trip to Kernville. Chunk had trouble getting the car started, so it wasn't till at least 8:30 before he got there. Bob Kirkeby came too -- an old friend of Chunk's from the Sea Scout Days. Bob is taking a photography class so he had a school camera to take pictures at Kern. We went to Mayfair and bought food for the trip, then we went to a camera store & Bob got film. It took three & a half hours to get to Kern, though it is supposed to be a five hour trip. I sat in the back seat which was slightly cramped with equipment (sleeping bags, blankets, food, kayaking stuff, paddles...) sprawled from the back to the back seat. Glenn's kayak was tied to the roof of the car so we'd have enough boats to paddle in.

Kernville looked a lot smaller than the last time I saw it which was many years ago, about 5, I think. We first went to the Ewings portion of Kern river to see if Chunk's boats were there -- they were. So we went to Peanut Butter Park where the kayak crowd camps out. The new boat Chunk built (the Musky Mongoose) was there. Then we drove up to Tom Johnson's, whom I haven't seen since I was last at Kern. He didn't recognize me. Anyway, Patch was there, and Bob & I tied it on the Barracuda (we'd left Glenn's boat at Ewings). There was a thermometer at TJ's that said it was 79° -- the weather was warm & clear.

Chuck on the Kern (1974)

We left Johnson's and drove back to PB Park to get Chunk's boat, and Bob & I held it to the car out the windows, and I drove back to Ewings. Bob wasn't used to kayaking -- it was the first time he'd paddled, though he was familiar with sailing and rowing. He used Glenn's, I was in Patch, and Chunk took the Musky Mongoose. We paddled in the calm deep water below Ewings to get used to it. After about 15 minutes I tipped over into the 40° water. Bob had flipped a few minutes earlier. The dunking I took got me very disenchanted with kayaking, and I was reluctant to get back in. In the interim, Bob & I went to the banks of Ewings in the kayak. Chunk was concerned about this foolhardiness and told him to use Patch (a boat he wouldn't mind getting busted), the oldest raunchiest paddle, a helmet and life jacket. So Bob went thru the white water like he was going through the gates of Hell, head scrunched down, shoulders sloped -- terrible form, but he made it through without flipping. So he went to do it again -- but before that I got back in the kayak (Glenn's water-tight one) with many reservations, but bowed to Chunk's urging. Then Bob ran the river again and flipped over -- that was two flips for him & one for me.

I got a little more confidence but I still wasn't anxious to run Ewings. I just stayed in the calm water. By then the sun was setting, so we returned to Peanut Butter Park, and got in league with Cliff, a kayaking buddy of Chunk's who is about equal to him in ability, and we had dinner, using his stove to cook beans, chili, and beef stew, and Bob cooked the steak on a grill over the fire. So the four of us had dinner. At the camp there was a three legged dog (front leg missing) and a three legged cat (hind leg missing), which was slightly odd. There were also some other dogs and cats there who vied for our leftovers. A few people gathered at the fire and talked, me, Bob, Cliff, Chunk, and a few young girls usually. TJ [Tom Johnson, Chuck's legendary mentor] came to the fireside gathering, which was unusual. The crowd changed to experienced kayakers & drifters. I wandered away at about 8:00 to go to sleep. I used the foam rubber boat pad with three blankets. C & B turned in at 10:00 or 11:00.

Keeping track of the competitors:
Tom Johnson at the Kern in 1974

Sunday, April 16, 1972
(Written Monday, April 17, 1972, 12:38:17 P.M.)
I waited 'till Chunk got up before I officially awoke, which was at about 8:30. We were the last people to wake up. Chunk went running with Cliff about 3 miles. Bob & I had breakfast. Eventually Bob & I went to the river, and Bob ran Ewings again, flipping at the start. I was in the calm water and caught the paddle -- people on the shore helped him and the boat out of the water. Chunk got in the water later. I managed to flip over again while trying to get used to the rough water at the edge of Ewings. So I quit again and Bob took pictures again, and I joined him on the rock. Then Chunk and Cliff paddled the slalom at the end of Ewings, and I timed their runs -- they averaged
[Here the text is interrupted by the end of the page, continued on tomorrow's entry:  April 17]

The Apollo 16 Saturn V space vehicle lifted off at 12:54 p.m. EST, Sunday, April 16, 1972, from the Kennedy Space Center Launch Complex 39A. To see a NASA documentary about this mission, go to April 20 - Apollo 16 moon landing.